Let's Start From the Beginning

I have been neglecting this blog for far too long this year. Sure, in the past, I have made commitments (and failed to follow through on those commitments) to keep this blog updated regularly. So today, I am going to get back on the horse and commit to posting more regularly. Ah, what does regularly mean, you may ask? And my answer to that would be a resounding: “I have no idea!”

What I do know is that I need to start updating this space more often and work on my journey toward being more creative. Why do you have to be more creative, you ask? “Well, I’m not sure.” would be my answer. But I know that it is something that I have always aspired to in one form or another since I was a little kid. 

As a kid, I wanted to learn an instrument. Music always fascinated me as a kid, probably because my older brothers were always listening to loud music in their bedrooms and in their cars. This was a bit problematic because my elementary school music teacher made it clear that I was not a very good singer, so I thought band would be more my style. Well, come to find out, the reason that I wasn’t a very good singer is because I’m tone-deaf, which doesn’t bode well for a musical career. 

Over the years, I have dabbled in different forms of expression. I tried photography for a while, and I still love it. I just don’t make enough time to work on it. Which, incidentally, this blog may help me with as well, because I’ll use it to post some photos that I take. I’ve also dipped my toe into video. A couple of years ago, I had a YouTube channel that I used to post ski videos. I also haven’t totally given up on that idea. At some point, I may launch a companion vlog for this space. I already have it set up. I just need the inspiration to hit me.

I also had the idea that I wanted to be a writer. I would lie on our living room floor and write out ideas that I had for a book, and never follow through with them. That seems to have become a recurring theme. I’d try something, get frustrated when it didn’t come naturally to me, and then give up on it. I’d always use the excuse that I didn’t have time, that of course I could be good at it if I only had time to dedicate myself to it. 

The excuses stop now. Yes, I suck at writing. I have no idea how to tell a good story at this point, and I’m not that good at coming up with ideas to write about, and I absolutely suck at research. No, I’m not a very good photographer. I’m not very good at composition, lighting escapes me, and the settings of the camera could mostly be written in ancient Egyptian for all I know. And, yes, I am very awkward in front of the camera. I don’t have screen presence, and I stutter and use crutch words far too often. But all of that is irrelevant now. I am going to work my way through all of that. 

Now that we all know what to expect: subpar writing, disjointed photography, and awkward videos, we get on with the business at hand. To be clear, despite my own glowing expectations of my own skill, I don’t expect to make any money on any of these projects. I want to do them to improve myself as a person. I want to pursue something that I have always wanted for myself and finally achieve it. While right now I may not be a writer, photographer, or videographer, that doesn’t mean that someday I won’t be.